Oh feed the hungry children
If you didn’t know, I work at a coffee shop…… My brilliant career. Yes some may love calling themselves a barista but me.. I was around long before this title held any honor and still make a bloody good cup of Joe without it.
Anywho… along with this coffee culture comes the foodie culture where a sanga is no longer enough (sanga is Aussie for sandwich)
So this woman comes in all the time and brings along her 5 year old and he hesitantly and painfully orders a salmon roulade or a freaking vegetarian savory muffin because that is what he’s mum tells him he wants.
Once he asked for a cheese sandwich and the over tanned mum said. “Darling, you can have a sandwich at home. When we are out it’s a chance for you to sample new things.”
Anywho the poor kid didn’t even eat it, the vegetarian savoury muffin, and he looked kind of pale and anemic and asked for a slice of salami from the deli ….
The mum ran up and said to the pale little creature, “Don’t you dare. You’re a vegetarian.”
And the kid looked at me like..”please take me home with you,” which shows how desperate he was because no one ever wants to go home with me, not even the stray mangy cat from the back alley… (although there is one nearer to my house that I am slowly coaxing with milk and second hand cigarette smoke, he’s a Winnie Blue type of cat)
I could take it no longer and said to the mum, “I am giving your child a good old Vegemite sanga because he needs to experience new things and I bet you’ve never given him one and I bet especially he’s never had white bread, possibly only sourdough or rye and that’s kind of fucked because the kid needs some of that black tar Vegemite in his gob to prove he’s an Aussie.”
She glared at me then around her certain she was being filmed for some prank.
I continued. “Your child looks like a ghost. Go buy a leg of lamb because no one can afford one of those these day and get your house maiden to roast in your Falcon oven and then carve it up. Give your precious little man a piece or two and a crispy roast potato and then hand him over the shank and let him suck the marrow out of it.
His cheeks will turn rosy, he’ll have energy to run around the park instead of sitting under the shade of the tree terrified he may burn without a 50 plus on and he may even thank you for seeing what makes him happy.”
She huffed and walked out. The little man smiled at me and waved good bye and I got my first grin out of my stern faced boss since I’ve worked in the God forsaken ‘clandestine’ yuppy back alley, caffeine brewing, brick building. Oh I also got my first warning…..
Turned out to be a better than average day.
Do you love coffee? Would you prefer a vegetarian muffin or a Vegemite sandwich? Oh do let me know below.